Always a slave

Mom said go home to be home with Moe so she could go to the gym.
Kids were napping. Moe was on computer. I couldn't go do what I had to (my glucose test).
Mom said I had to make dinner or go grocery shopping I said I didn't want to go out. I had to make rice, chicken, and broccoli. Mom didn't even go grocery shopping. Moe did with Jazzy. Mom laid in bed. I used to get bitched at about using the car but I've always driven it sober. moe and her friends were out all day and smoking weed with the car. Mom said I had to fold all the laundry because she folded a (1) basket of mine. I washed my own, she just folded them without me knowing. But I had to fold 3 baskets of Brian's, Moe's and her clothing for her.

I don't want to live.

I. Hate. This. Life. Chosen. For me.
I'm in love with a guy who doesn't want a relationship with me.
I have a daughter I apparently can't provide for.
I have a mother who bitches about me living with her and eating her food.
I have a sister who is a major bitch and only cares about herself.
I have no friends what-so-ever.
And I hate it all.
Oh and a baby I can't even keep. Fantastic.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to feel this pain anymore.
I have no emotional support. No body to listen to me. I don't even feel worth it anymore.
Sometimes I honestly feel like giving Lailah to Scott's family and killing myself.
I'd write her letters for the entire future.
I don't wanna be here.
I hold on hoping things will get better but I still feel worthless.
I get bitched at for eating and having a room to sleep in.
God forbid.
I should just die.
Please let me die.

What I have to do for mom:
Weds - Pick up moe at 12am, bring dad drs 6am, bring jaz to work 4pm.
Friday - pick up Melissa, Lexi, and Chelsea
Tuesday - Be home with Moe to watch daycare so mom can go to the gym 11:30am
Mon- Get Melissa 1:40pm, bring dad to drs 9am