Pandemic continues, no response from Liz, and life is a nightmare

We’re getting into the thick of it, this pandemic that is - SARS-COV-2, the disease brings COVID -19.  277 new cases today since yesterday in my state of R.I. alone. 8 new deaths and one guy was in his 20s. It’s getting really scary. I haven’t left my house, except to go grocery shopping twice, in about a month now. It’s projected that the cases will continue to get worse and won’t hit its peak until mid May - a whole month + from now. Scary scary virus and scary scary times. The grocery stores are nearly empty especially the ice cream and frozen breakfast section for some reason, completely empty.
I tried to text Liz, telling her that I cared about them and hope they’re staying safe and healthy but I got no response back. Go figure, right?

I’m just barely hanging on. We’ve (the kids and I) been doing distant learning online for about 3 weeks, going on 4 weeks soon. It’s been going... I’ve been overwhelmed. 

I did make the baby a blanket. We paid for something called “sneak peak” which tells gender results based on a home finger pricked blood test. Supposedly if they pick up the Y chromosome in the blood you’re having a boy and if it’s not detected then you’re having a girl. The chromosome was detected in my boy so I got the BOY result! Justin and I decided on naming him Emrys Phoenix. He’s started moving to where I can feel it the past couple weeks  💕 

My pregnancy so far is going well but we’re in the middle of this pandemic which is really causing a lot of fear and anxiety. I have my anatomy ultrasound in 3 weeks and I have to go in alone to it, no visitors or guests are allowed due to the virus. I can’t even convey how scared I am. 85% of the time I wish I could hit my vape to handle the amount of fear and panic I consistently feel but I know it’s not the healthiest choice for the baby so I’ve been avoiding. 

Today was a very stressful day so I wish I could today really bad, but I haven’t. The landlord tested blowing up our phones being a bitch about the mattresses outside our house telling us they need to go ASAP - even though the state isn’t taking them due to the virus... where does she expect they go?! Ugh. And then Sara - Justin’s sister who is living with us temporarily and for the past month refuses to pay rent as long as she’s bringing Justin to work. That’s $400 she’s refusing to pay us that we should be getting. I lowered it to $200 to take off what she’s paying in rent and she said it was unfair and if she had to pay it then she no longer was bringing or picking up Justin from work. Fucking bitch. So I’m angry and feeling used about that. And the only reason she’s even taking him to work and home is because our engine and transmission went on our van about a week ago and my cousin who was taking Justin to work and home moved to ct. I feel like it’s the LEAST she could do - is take him to work while she stays here, alongside paying rent. But clearly she thinks differently so I’m gonna draft a contract that she needs to pay us $500 a month and my mom is going to help with Justin’s rides until we can get the van fixed which will take a couple of weeks. 

Life feels like a nightmare right now but the good news is is that my med is working so I don’t feel like dying, and I got approved for disability. It’ll be helpful a lot. 

Tomorrow I plan on doing a fun activity with the kids - blowing colored bubbles onto paper, once Noel finishes his schoolwork online. I hope and believe they will enjoy it. 

Well, it’s getting late and I’ve got to get these littles in bed. Til another time ...