Why can't I just be happy without people telling me I'm a horrible shitty person? Why can't I be happy without people bringing me down?
I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to live to never be allowed to be happy. I just want to feel loved and once I do then it's like I'm a horrible person for wanting that. Maybe I shoulda done adoption with Lailah. Maybe I wouldn't be stuck in my hose, I hate it here.
I hate my mom and the people around me. I just want to die and do everyone a goddamned favor. I don't want to keep trying so hard. It's pointless.
I was finally feeling happy. But apparently happiness is a sin. I want to just cu myself again and it won't even matter since I can't see Mark anymore. My mom says I can't use her car and I'm not allowed to go out anymore.
I give up. I quit.
Fuck this.
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