Trying to organize life.

I've been feeling pretty emotional lately.. a lot of things have been triggering me and I've been getting set off. I hate it. I really do. I know that my triggers are due to unresolved and leftover issues from my childhood but I don't yet know how to work on that to be better for myself and my family. I have started to read a book called Parenting from the Inside Out and I am hoping that it will be able to help me.
I'm currently on a new medication called Pristiq and I feel like it finally is helping my depression.. I don't feel super suicidal or depressed anymore and so far no bad side effects. Sometimes I feel a little more sleepy but it isn't half as bad as it was when I was on Effexor. My sister is currently starting on Effexor and that worries me because I don't want her to go through what I did on that medication. I know it is different for everybody but it was so terrible for me that I worry for her.
Living in the new apartment has been wonderful.. although, it doesn't feel like home yet. It's still messy and unorganized, we have nothing really set up yet. Tomorrow I want to go to different stores to get things we need so that we can hang pictures and paint furniture and such. I feel like setting it up by doing those things will help make it feel more homey. A couple rugs might also help.
I also want to make a big erase board with a calendar of sorts with each day labeled on the top of it and the times going down it. On this board I want to create our daily schedule. I feel like this will help me the most and by helping me, it would help my family overall. I am starting to feel I need that schedule to help me keep accountability on myself instead of getting lazy, laying in bed, and playing on my cell phone. I want to start doing more hands on things with my children and playing with them. I know what I WANT to do - but doing it doesn't feel as easy... my emotions take over and I feel stuck. I am going to work on that.
Not much else to talk about at the moment.. I am going to get Noel asleep then watch The Walking Dead with Justin... Hopefully I can also get some more crocheting done too... I've been slacking since I haven't been up for much of anything lately.. I guess I still feel a bit depressed, the negative thoughts just aren't there.
I'll report back when I get the opportunity to. Goodnight.

Pretty pathetic post lol

We've moved into the new apartment.. I like it. It's very spacious. We fit well there, I think. We've bought some things for the apartment like furniture and such. I've made my own toothpaste and I will be doing the same for cleaning solution. There's not very much else to tell as of right now.. We're just getting settled in.
My mood has been alright for the most part. Between work and sleep I don't have very much time to think or feel really. I'm just trying to get situated with the new apartment.. that's literally all.
Well, until next time..

Baby fever crushed.

We've began moving into our new apartment. It is nice and large. I'm really excited that we are moving in. We got our living room couches, bedroom set, and Lailah's bunk bed from rent a center. My gramma gave me a couple of her lamps and little odds and ends like tissues and such. She's also giving me my great gramma's rocking chair! I'm so excited for that. :D My moms cousin Pat is giving me a kitchen table set, a toy chest, and a dresser for Noel. My gramma's friend gave us a comforter set for our bed and Pat gave us one for Lailah's bed. Oh and my Aunt Bubbles gave us a George Foreman grill and a toaster oven. That's about all we have/are getting so far. We are also still moving everything we have from my dads to the new place.
Things are going alright. Work is back to the usual, although, I feel demoted. I have been taken off the heat seal and put on the lines. I'm hoping they'll train me on QC since that's a higher paying position... but idk. Today I worked on line 6 with a new girl who was doing QC and I had to stop my job 4 times to help her with hers because she was that far behind.. the manager even had to step in twice and help us as well. Maybe they'll replace her with me. We will see.
Recently I've been having baby fever and I've been considering having another baby next year... but then I was at my moms house today and she was screaming at the daycare kids and I thought to myself, "I wouldn't get to stay home for a year or two with another baby like I did with Noel. Another baby wouldn't deserve the treatment that my mom would give. She would leave him/her crying in a play pen, wouldn't pick them up, wouldn't tend to them as they're supposed to be.... I couldn't do that to another baby... and I don't think that Justin and I would ever be at the point where one income would be enough. So, I guess that's out of the question. We won't be able to have another child next year - or any year soon for that matter.