It's 2013. Forever seems to have gone by. I've come a long way but I still have my struggles. I have many topics to talk about but I think they all would be a bit much for this one post, although I may touch upon as many as I can. :p
Well, Lailah's 5th birthday is coming up and I can not believe it ! I'm teaching her to say she's "half a decade old." I'm teaching her what decade is also ! She is such a beautiful, smart, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, understanding, loving, kind, compassionate.... little girl ! I could go on and on and on bragging about how wonderful she is. I am blessed to have her as my own little one.
I'm with that guy, from the last post. I am so so glad that I didn't let his family get in the way ! He is wonderful and I love him so much ! He's so cute and caring, he's great, really. He spoils me and he's the first guy I actually have ever felt truly loved by. We live together at my dads house, we rent a room for cheap. We're making it work... which leads me into my next topic... Child care.
Child care feels like an impossibility. I don't have near enough money to pay for child care. I work as a host at a restaurant and I make some tips - it's not bad. Definitely not enough to pay for child care though, it's so expensive ! So today I went down to DHS to see if they could help me but the woman told me that because I'm in college I can't get daycare assistance, that I can only get it for work hours and not school hours. But I work at night when I can easily get a daycare - during the day everyone that normally helps me works, because that's what normal people do daily, right? You'd think they'd understand that, but apparently not. So, I'm gonna ask my school if I can somehow switch to night classes - I don't know if I can though. Gotta ask to find out though..
I am SUPER excited !! Today my sons mom told me that we can do FaceTime on the Iphones (I got it SUPER cheap at Walmart !) this Saturday at 11am !! It's a date ! I'll get to see my baby live for the FIRST TIME since he was 3 days old !! <3 I can not wait and I bet Lailah will love it as well. :D
I'm almost finished with my school program !! 5 more weeks in class and 5 weeks in externship, today I asked Lailah's Pediatric office if they do externship and they do ! I hope I can get placed there, that would be SO great ! I'm hoping everything with the daycare thing works out... I really need it to. I hope the universe works some magic or something.. :/
On another note - I really really want another baby, except the idea that I don't ovulate pops up into my mind. I get breakthrough bleeding often and I've temped and my temps never dropped and went soaring (which indicated ovulation). Also, I get symptoms of low progesterone. I hope I'm not having secondary infertility. :( That would suck... I really want to have another baby though. I know he or she would and never could replace Bennett and I don't want that either. But I really do want to feel pregnancy again and bring home my little bundle of joy.
Well, I should get around to wrapping this up - I think I've touched upon enough for today. Now I'm going to go relax, watch Dragon Tails with my little girl, read her a bedtime story, and tuck her into bed - then night night for me as well ! Gnight people.
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