Yet, here I am.

Life has been crazy.
Tom moved here and he turned out to not be who I thought he was. He instead is someone who I honestly feel I've never known or met before.
I kicked him out, he got arrested, then moved back to PA.

Two uncles of mine that I love - Uncle Jack and Uncle Russ have both passed away, and Silas was stolen.
I have a really good job, making really good money, but it's not something I truly want to be doing and it's something that has the potential to get me in trouble. But I know poverty, I've had more than just a taste of poverty in the past. My kids and I have gone without food, with stained and torn clothing, we washed clothing in the bathtub, and ate spaghetti every day, we know financial struggle, pain, and hunger. We know what it's like to have nothing. But now - all of that is gone.
I don't know what I want to do or where to go from here. Our culture and government make things extremely difficult.
College costs are sky high and you have to have a certain level of intelligence if you want to live decently. I am just not one of those people, I've tried.
I don't feel I have many choices in my life - I have contemplated if my life is already planned out and I just have to accept it and ride it out to wherever it leads. To just learn and to grow with everything life hands to me.
I keep thinking, "idk anymore", but the truth is that I have never known, I've never understood my life. This life - is unrecognizable. When I was younger I would have never ever assumed that this life would be mine.. but it is. If someone told me this would be my future I would have laughed. I would have told them that they're crazy... but yet here I am.

I am trying to focus on being the best person I can be, to learn, to grow, to evolve.. to take life with a grain of salt and just get through it the best I possibly feel I can. It's all I can do.