Getting worn out mentally and emotionally

37 weeks

Today was my birthday. Well, Happy Birthday to me. I felt quite sad all day even though I didn't want to. I felt like I just couldn't control it. I wanted to feel happy but I just didn't. I feel mentally and emotionally drained about everything. One is the connection of this pregnancy and Bennett, next is that I just really want this little one out, then last is that my birthday just really doesn't matter to like - anyone.
I woke up this morning and took Lai to school - came home to find out that Jewel - moms Louisiana Leopard dog almost took Hermionie (shi tzu's) eye out. It was bulging out of her head. My mom had to take her to the vet and I stayed home babysitting the kids.
I felt like my entire birthday was completely ignored by everyone besides my online community -you know, the people I never see or hang out with personally. It made me feel sad.
We picked up Qetsi today. :) Which was the only thing I really did enjoy.

Yucky pic of me but super cute pic of Qetsi :)

(Edit: Add in - I also want to add that I got a card from Justin. The sweetest card ever. I want to add it here. It did make me happy as well and I did enjoy receiving it from him.)

 

"There are no words that can describe how much I love you.
You are my world, my heart, my everything.
We have begun an incredible journey together
and I will be by your side until the very end.
Everyday I wake up and I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life.
Everyday I want to make you happy,
and I want you to know that I love you with my whole heart and soul."

Lailah left today too which I'm sad about but I know it's what she really wants. Liz sent me a photo of Bennett and finally agreed to have a Facetime chat with me sometime next month - but we did not set up a date yet. She also wished me a Happy Thanksgiving and Birthday. Then I went to  the bathroom and had a huge clot of blood come out and had to go to triage. Blah.
At triage they told me that I wasn't actively bleeding that I'm still 3cms dilated and that she, "Could feel baby's head." Whatever that means. She estimates that I'll have little Penguin in the next couple days. Others estimate a week at the most. I don't know anymore, I don't know anything.
I'm home now.

He looks ridiculously like Lailah. :p Loveitttt.