HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! 2016!

Happy New year!!!! 

It's 2016!!! I am hoping that this year will be 100% different than last year. I am going to do my best to remain motivated to achieve my goals and to get a better footing in life for my family. I am going to do whatever I can to get educated on what I would have to do to open a home daycare and take the necessary steps to achieving that goal!! 

2015 Ended decently. 

Things are "looking up" at the moment. For the first time EVER my mom is actually acting like a MOM. In 2015 she became a person that I never knew she could be. When I got very depressed on Thanksgiving and I couldn't function because I missed my meds my mom was there for me. She let me vent, she hugged me, she was calling herself mommy, she comforted me and helped calm me, and then she took me home and let me rest while she cared for my kids. It was an incredible moment for me because she's never been that mom to me previously. I don't remember a single moment in our past together that she was ever that motherly... and she's continued this by telling me often that she cares about me. It's strange but I'm welcoming it and hoping that it continues into 2016. 

Also, my sister is actually interacting with me again. We text sometimes, call one another, we hang out and play games, and she actually invites me to go hang out with her. It's a HUGE difference in my life. My sister and I haven't talked in years... nevermind have gotten along. I also hope this continues and strengthened into 2016. 

Justin and I are at the strongest place in our relationship that I could ever imagine. We are so devoted to one another and we love each other so purely. I am so blessed to have him in my life. We get along with such ease, he's so comforting to me, we have fun with each other all the time, we love each others company, he accepts me and I accept him for exactly who we are, we help each other learn and grow, we motivate and encourage one another.... I couldn't ask for a better man to be married to.

And Tom and I have the strongest most amazingly pure friendship that I could ever ever imagine in my entire life. We are so in tune with one another. It's literally like we are 1 soul dwelling in 2 bodies. We have figured out a place of expectations where we both feel comfortable and safe where we are at. It's an incredible thing and I am so extremely lucky and blessed to have not only have him in my life but that I found him to begin with. 

I really want to work on my parenting this year. I want to stop yelling and really work on connecting and empathizing with my children. I want to understand my children on a basic understanding of what they are developmentally appropriately ready for... I want to work with them instead of against them. I want to observe, acknowledge emotion, and give them the tools they need to solve problems and handle difficult emotion. I want to be the mom that I didn't have as a child that I needed in my life - for my children. My children are incredible and I am so blessed that they chose me as their mom and came to inhabit my body for me to birth and raise throughout this life. 

I know that I am behind in posts... I am not going to bring up too much of the past. What has happened, happened and nothing can change that. I didn't record it or write it down but it wasn't really positive stuff so I'm just going to let it go and move forward in 2016!