I am still struggling with depression - so much so that I've been dreaming about smoking some weed for that happy relaxed feeling again. I feel sad often for what feels like no reason at all. Lately, I have NO reason at all to feel sad (besides the past).
I got married this weekend !!!!
Justin and I tied the knot on Saturday 08/22/15. <3
It was a beautiful wedding, although not all fancy and top dollar but nice nonetheless. I had a gorgeous gown, he was dressed so handsome, my best friend came up and stayed with us for 4 days to attend our wedding, I had so many wonderful close family members also attend, and my kids are amazing. I loved it but it was also a bit stressful and disappointing as well. I loved that my best friend Tom was there and I had just married my other best friend ever. It was lovely. We had it at Colt State Park - at their chapel then we went over to sites for music and dancing etc.
At one point it was hilarious because Justin was trying to put cake on my face and I wouldn't let him - I was trying to eat the cake off his finger instead and our best friend Tom came up and said, "You both suck at this!" and then he caked Justin and I both right in the face. It was so much fun!
Lailah and Noel looked fabulous of course. :) Lailah was the flower girl and Noel was the ring barer - with Tom's help. :) Lailah was acting very shy during the whole ceremony and reception - she wouldn't accept Justin's vows to her and she didn't want to dance with me. But overall she liked it and had fun.
I was disappointed that a lot of family members that Justin and I considered close didn't call or show up at all. It was stressful that Noel was freaking out and I could hardly get time away from him where he wasn't wanting me to hold him, nurse, or freaking out for me every 5 mins. I had finally gotten everyone to get up and dance with me when Noel decided to freak out so bad that I had to sit down to comfort him and everyone danced without me. When Noel was calm a while later I tried to get up and get everyone dancing again and nobody wanted to dance with me. And when I asked my dad to dance he protested yet got up to dance anyway - only to complain the entire time (which was about a minute because he complained so much I just let him go sit back down and not dance with me - which really really hurt my feelings actually.) Apparently, I'm not worth a dance with his daughter on her wedding day. But whatever -- I made the best of the day. My best friend was there, there was good food, and well, I got married! Also, my friend Cassidy who helped me with pretty much ALL my wedding decorations and setting up and everything took all my wedding photos! She edited and is still editing more of them and they're incredible! They're perfect. I feel so thankful that she is a friend of mine - she's so generous and kind hearted. She wanted to do all that for me for free! But I couldn't let her, I gave her - lol well forced her to accept $100 from me which I got from someone else who gifted it to Justin and I in a card.
Guests who attended: My mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, both my aunts Bubbles and Aunt Sheryl, Uncle Jack and his wife Janice and step daughter Brianna, Chelsea, my kids, Justin's dad Calvin and his wife Maria, Justin's sisters Sarafina, Tiffany as well and her fiance Miguel and baby, My Aunt Cindy and Uncle Mike, My friends Tom, Lucy and her son Bryce, and Cassidy, My aunt Linda and Uncle John.
That's it.
Anyway... I also started a new job today. That's good and bad. Good because I need the money so we can save for our own home. Bad because it is difficult demanding busy work. My thumb is all blistered and cut up from popping fabric papers on these little metal pegs that were on this big machine assembly line type thing. It hurts a lot. But it's a job and necessary. No pain no gain I guess, Eh?
That's all that is really new new. Noel is growing and getting smarter and bigger every day. Lailah is adjusting to Justin and I being married and preparing to go back to school - 2nd grade!! I am going to try to contact the school department so that I can switch her to another school instead of Curtis because of all the problems I've had with them the past 2 years, so we'll see what goes on with that.
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