Digging a deeper hole.

So last week I was feeling very ungrounded and very stressed out. So, I impulsively drove to PA last Tuesday to hang out with Tom for a couple days. It was soooo nice to just chill and not have responsibilities.
Justin got laid off a couple weeks ago from work, so he stayed home and watched the kids.
Tom and I hung out, smoked together, and we had a blast. I remember laughing and smiling so much and saying, "I feel so happy right now." Life felt incredible. I felt so much peace as I was with him.

I was soooo nervous because I really "like him, like him", honestly, I know I love him. But he has so many of the same traits that I do - just weird unconscious behaviors that make us both seem or appear "weird" to society. My whole life I strayed away from people that had "quirks" because I knew that they could get you noticed and/or bullied. But with Tom, I felt I had to fight through it all because I really love who he is as a person, as a brain, and a soul. Nothing on the outside mattered to me. What does it matter what people think of him or me, or us? Why care about what they think or feel? He's such an incredible human being.
Well after a while of just hanging out and chilling he started lightly rubbing my feet which then turned into him rubbing my calves. And I don't even know lol it advanced from there! I somehow ended up straddling him as he laid down. It's all a blur. Haha. There was a lot of kissing on the necks, biting, my shirt coming off, him sucking on my breasts and fondling them, lots of heavy breathing as I ground myself on him, dry humping him. The first time he seemed to cum in his pants really quick lol. But then we did this several times and I got off (came) every time. I felt so present and content with him.
It did advance a bit further as one of the times... idk around the 5th time or so he went down on me and then I pulled him up and he fingered me. I forgot how amazing it felt to be fingered and he's been the VERY first and actually, only other man to, finger me just like Scott used to - which is the best most pleasurable way. I've tried showing/teaching other partners in my past but it never worked out so I figured only Scott could do it... and I just let it go. But Tom can too. Only thing that sucks afterward is feeling like I have to pee really bad for a few hours lol. But in the moment it feels really really good lol.