Life changes suddenly

I've totally forgot to mention that I have reopened contact with my mom. It's not something I truly have wanted to do yet I feel I have to. We are struggling pretty badly financially and my mom throws money around like it's her job. So, I knew that if I reopened contact that she would be very financially supportive - which we need. So far... things are going ok. I'm keeping my distance, we don't go stay over at her house much at all - only to do laundry, and I will continue keeping this distance because I feel it's important for things to remain somewhat healthy.
I've also reopened contact with my sister.... It's interesting and weird because we're both actual adults now and haven't been close in many many many years. I wouldn't say we are close but she's been talking to me more than we have ever talked in a really long time...

I shouldn't be giving more chances at all. I know I shouldn't. But I do need their help.

I've also went back to smoking bud again, I've come off all my medications - even my birth control, and I'm going to try to get back on top of caring for myself. I let myself go for a long time.

Today, our heat got turned back on. Tom actually paid for some oil for us so that we could have heat. Thanks to that oil I was able to actually clean my house today!

I've been feeling a ton of stress and emotions lately. Between Justin losing his job, struggling financially, court due to his stupid arrest, my feelings between both Justin and Tom, not having heat before today, my mom and moe, I also got into a bit of a fight with my dad *read below*, and how I feel with all the adoption trauma coming up recently... I'm spread thinly.

My dad and I got into an argument over the phone because he was asking to watch the kids overnight and I told him I didn't feel comfortable with that. He was like, I know how to care for kids! And I was all like, except that you feel crying should be punished and you believe in physical punishment. He was like, I won't hurt your kids! I won't touch them! And I was like, you have a low stress level/tolerance level. And he was like, "I never hurt you!" I was like, "really? .... REALLY? Are you fucking kidding me?" So then I hung up and we didn't talk for a couple of weeks. We still aren't back to the place we were at where we were talking often weekly... so, yeah.... I can't BELIEVE he tried claiming that he never hurt me. Talk about trying to gaslight me.