Feeling really good, actually. *gasp*

I've been feeling really great the past week or so.
I attended the Butler hospital outpatient program.
And then my cousin April moved in with me.
Things are good.
I smoke a good amount of weed each night before bed... like 3-4 bowls of indica, at least.
I've deleted the FB app and haven't gone on on my phone.
I've only been using messenger and Instagram.
All the positive, spiritual, awakened people are on Instagram.
I use a FB app called Memories to store my photos rather than using FB photo albums, so that I can continue to store my photos.
I am taking control of my own life.

I have been getting up, cleaning my house, taking care of my kids, working on my parenting, going to Lailah's softball games, calling therapists and psychiatrists to get in to see, and sorting other responsibilities out. I will soon create a chore chart and daily schedule for our family to follow that might help make things more functional and assist in delegating responsibilities.

I've started watching videos about Tesla, who I think is super incredible and I wish I was born into a future generation so that I could have picked his mind and gotten to know him. He is a very fascinating individual.

Last Sunday I got really really upset at my daughters fathers family - yet again. And I have decided that the line is drawn. I do not want them around my daughter anymore, ever again. They are unhealthy, toxic, abusive, and they're leaving these damaged marks all over my daughters soul/inner most self. I fear her struggling to recover from her childhood with them if I don't step in and make the decision to eliminate them from her life. I told Scott that I will let him see his daughter outside of his parents house, that he can see her at the park, zoo, our house, etc. But that I do not want her around his family whatsoever. I also told him that if he got his own place, I would let her sleep over again and spend more time with him, as long as he did not ever take her around his parents and siblings.
They all have very old school thinking and the belief that children are property who they can control, manipulate, and take out their negative energy on. I find that thinking limiting and toxic. Dangerous even. Definitely not healthy.

I found a therapist too, who I actually liked, I think he may be understanding, intelligent, conscious, aware, compassionate, empathetic, and pretty much everything that could make up a good therapist. Problem is is that he primarily sees court mandated court offenders - in other words, rapists. I don't think that is going to prevent me or stop me from exploring if he's a good therapist fit for me or not though. I think I will ask him why he chose to work with those kind of individuals and then go from there. I had an appointment with him on Tuesday and I will be seeing him again Tomorrow - Friday. We will see.

idk, mostly life is good - as long as I smoke a good amount of weed, face and process my emotions, cry if I feel it's necessary, and to always always force myself to have perspective.