Too much loss, I'm overwhelmed.

I'm having a hard time emotionally. I feel sad, hurt, confused, angry, overwhelmed, and like I want to give up on most everything.
Idk what I want anymore in my life. It's all hitting me at once.
I know that I'm just struggling a lot to process all the loss I've been through lately, but I am so scared of ruining my life and doing things that aren't who I aim to be.
In Jan I lost my uncle Jack to cancer, right before that I left my friendship with my friend Rebecka because her bf was being abusive and she refused to leave or do anything about it and it was hurting me (selfish I know, but I just couldn't handle more pain), then someone stole Silas, then I left my friendship/relationship with Tom, and then my uncle Russ just died not too long ago from a heart attack.. and I feel empty, lost, and it all hurts so much. I know I haven't written about it. I notice that I tend to avoid really difficult experiences until I can no longer avoid them. I'm at that point. I should talk even more about it, but I just don't have the energy right now and Noel is crying and tired so I'm gonna make this quick.
Noel is also weaning and we are a week into our new journey of life without breastfeeding.
It's a lot of emotions all at once and I guess I don't really know how to process everything.
I feel lonely and undeserving of friendships and relationships. I feel like I annoy and bother everyone I talk to or that they aren't on my level and can't really understand or appreciate me.
Idk much anymore besides that I want to stop hurting, I wish I had greater friendships, and I want to move forward in my life without so much bogging me down. Lately, everything feels really heavy and I feel like it takes more effort than I have or can muster to function.
I'm doing the best I can and I won't give up.
But it hurts and it is so very very hard.