First I got up at 7am to take Lailah to school only to realize that Lailah still has headlice - so she couldn't go to school. I was frustrated by it - probably overly frustrated by it because I was extremely overtired, having gotten an extremely little amount of sleep. But then my mom recognized my frustration and she just started shouting at me! As if my silent facial expression of frustration was blaming her! I shouted back even more frustrated that, Obviously I knew it wasn't her fault and that Lailah could be getting the lice from anywhere and that I have a right to be frustrated. She just kept making it about her though. Because everything has to be about her.
Like I previously mentioned, I got a very small amount of sleep. I didn't get much sleep until 8am and finally Noel let me sleep until 12, we nursed, then he let me sleep til almost 2. When I woke up - which I thought I was late for, an appointment. I hurried up, got Noel ready, and then left for the appointment. Got there only to find out that the person who scheduled me gave me the wrong date. -.- So, I didn't even have an appt scheduled for today.
Also note that on the way to my appt my car acted as if it could barely even make it down the street - never mind to anywhere else. -.- fml. Seems like possibly a transition problem? I can't afford a new car. >.<
So then next I get home and I call our health insurance company to switch over Noel's doctor to our Pediatrician. And I forget his fucking birthday. I said "December 15th, 2013." He was born on the 17th. But Bennett was born on the 15th and I'm obviously mentally fucked up with all of this. More than I thought I would be. I tried to remember which date was Noel's and I just couldn't. I drew a severe blank. So the woman on the line goes, "Are you sure that's the correct date? Are you calling for someone else?" I go... "No... no.... He's my son, I just had him a few weeks ago. Hold on." She then goes, "Uh.... okay..." So I quickly make up a different excuse than the truth which is - I placed my first son for adoption 3 years ago, he was born on the 15th and my head is all sorts of fucked up and traumatized by it still. So I say instead, "I'm really tired." She then says, "Maybe you should call back another time." I then just hung up.
Then right after that Scott texted me being his normal Jackass self. Last Monday I told him that I needed a notarized letter from him stating four simple things. One that he is not contesting the divorce since we have not been together in over 3 years. Two that we have a daughter together. Three that he is no longer enrolled in the military and works as a civilian. And four that he knows I had just recently had a baby and that the baby is not his.
He was supposed to send these things last week - because our divorce court date is tomorrow. Well, he never sent it. Today he texted me a texted picture of the letter - but I don't have it on hand. In his letter it says,
"On this day of January 1st 2014, I, Scott (omit), do not contest to the divorce of Rachael (omit). I know that she has two other children from two different partners.Neither of the two are mine. We have one legitimate child, Lailah Rose (omit). I agree with the current agreement with Rachael (omit) of 300 per month for child support and visitation when I am home."
Which is not of what I asked from him. He's being a complete asshole attempting to scream at the judge that I'm the bad guy - when all I've done is move on with my life and not sit in pity of his abuse towards Lailah and I. (He abandoned us in another state TWICE - once at an airport with no food or money for the entire day until our flight and the second time at a hotel which he said we needed to be out by the next day and my dad had to rent a car to drive down and get us.) Also, he can't just make up his own child support - the state will do that.
Well, my lawyer is going to ask for a continuance - so we're not even going to use/need the letter. We're just going to have the court date bumped back a few weeks and then he won't show up and things should go my way.
But I'm pretty stressed out and annoyed. I wish I could just have a meltdown. But I just feel I can't. It's not allowed. Gotta suck it all up and move forward. Get over it.
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