Starting New Years with a bang!

Tuesday was New Years Eve and to start this New Years with a bang my body decided to be ill. I went into the ER with extreme stomach pain and spasming waste outputting organs (gross). Apparently my bladder was distended - three times it's normal size and also had double the normal amount of urine held within it. Awesome. So, needless to say - I was in excruciating pain. I was in the hospital for 3 days straight. I left this morning. Yesterday was the worst. I was in so much pain I couldn't move and it hurt so bad for anyone to even help me move. I had to have a catheter inserted twice. Not fun at all, but thankfully not painful. The injections and blood draws were painful though and sucked. So yeah - awesome New Years story ! No partying or New Years kiss for me. 

I had Noel with me the whole time and Justin was with me most of the time. With them there with me I felt better even though I was in a real lot of pain. I had to be put on  lot of pain medication though. At first they gave me a medication that was breastfeeding safe x2 but it didn't help at all with pain. They then gave me morphine x2 which they said was safe for breastfeeding but I didn't feel that was so since it really made me not feel right. I feared passing that to Noel. Plus they said that it could make him sleepy which also frightened me. So until the morphine wore off I supplemented with formula. Which made me bawl my eyes out so hard. I felt so guilty for not giving him mommys milk and possibly confusing him and his little tummy. He was crying too - because I was crying. When he heard me attempt to comfort him by loudly SHhhhhhhhhing - he stopped crying and listened. It surprisingly did help him calm down. But when he started getting hungry he cried and cried and I cried and cried cuz I felt bad. And he wouldn't take the formula for Justin. Once Justin laid Noel down next to me so I could attempt to feed him the formula, Noel looked right up at me and calmed down, as if to say, "Oh there you are Mommy, I'm so happy you're okay." <3 My heart felt so comforted just by having him near me again. It's like he knew I needed him and he needed me too. 

I'm now home and doing well. My pain is low, although still present. I'm just happy to be home.