I've been agitated lately. Sort of depressed as well. I am SO broke - I'm hoping to get my tax return back ASAP and that it'll help but I know it won't be coming this month and I'm pretty sure we'll be drowning this month. Now, if we will actually drown - I doubt... but we will probably have a shit ton of water in our lungs to recover from when we survive this.
I have Lailah's birthday party on the 15th to pay for. So that means goodie bag stuff, cake, ice cream, a present, and face painting. I originally wanted to get her an electric ride on vehicle but there is absolutely no way that I can afford that. So, instead I'm a cheap mama who is buying her some books and crocheting her a crown. Woo-ho.... -.- I wish I could be more and better for her. But, I just can't right now.
I am also borrowing money from my grandmother in attempt to save money in the long run. With the borrowed money I will be buying cloth diapers. That way I can just wash them and not have to keep buying diapers. I am also thinking of making my own cloth wipes as well. We'll see on the wipes but I am pretty sure I'm going to since we go through a lottt of them and really can't afford it.
I went to court on Thursday for Scott and My divorce... yeah.... well, the judge won't grant the divorce without Scott doing a paternity test to prove that he is NOT Noel's father. Justin was there and more than willing to take a test to prove he IS Noel's father but the judge did not care. He want's DNA Proof that Scott is NOT his father. It is SO stupid. Because if Justin's DNA comes back as 99.9% he is the father then how would Scott be able to ALSO be Noel's father?! It wouldn't... SO DUMB. Then there was an ultimatum thrown out that if Scott doesn't get the paternity test then the divorce will not be granted and it will be court ordered that he pay child support for both Noel and Lailah. Because in our state he is automatically legally Scott's child. No matter what.
My cell phone bill has also tripled... from $108 to $300.... all because I asked them to change my expected payment date from the 1st to the 9th... yeah, it somehow fucked me. Now I have to pay like - 3 months worth of cell phone when I never even got those months of service. Fantastic. So- I'm going to put $150 down and then call the cell company and tell them that I was surprised and that I can't pay it and that I've paid all I could at this point on it. I was told that if I do that then they'll keep our service on.
Yikes, and I just remembered Valentines day is also coming up. How will I or Justin even afford to get a present for one another at all? :/ Ugh ! We can't even just afford a nice dinner together and it's not like we can just spend some alone time together either - we have both kids.
Whatever - whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch - nothing will change. I just have to get through this month with my head still held above water - if that's even possible.
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