Shouldn't be with him?

I'm struggling.
It all started today. I woke up with Noel and Justin laid there sleeping. I get up and right after I get up he gets up. Then I told him I wanted to get a few things done today. I wanted to clean up the room, vacuum, bring the stuff in my trunk to Salvation Army, and clean and vacuum my car. He didn't say anything.
Around 3:44 he tells me, "I'm going to that work thing today."
I asked, "When are you leaving?"
He responds, "4:20."
Oh.... not even an hour in advance am I alerted to this.

I got mad. He did tell me he had a "dodgeball game" to go to that him and coworkers had planned - he mentioned it slightly some time last week and told me, "Tuesday". No time or anything. Although, today he swore he told me - so maybe I'm just fucking stupid and I forgot.
But he didn't even ask me to go with him, bring him, pick him up, nothing. He just told me he was leaving - not even an hour before leaving.
I got upset and I vented to Tom and Tiffany about it. Then I grabbed the baby and went in the shower. He was banging on the door. I told him, "Your bus arrives in 10 mins, don't you have to go? GO!"
When I got out he had already left. He didn't bother to text me or call me at all.

I started struggling massively. My thoughts attacking me. I could tell Inner Child was with me and she was hurt and upset. She was trying to prove to me that I shouldn't be with him. She kept begging me to come out. She wouldn't shut up.
Now I'm not sure if I should even be in a relationship. Clearly, my response wasn't normal. Maybe I need to be able to better control myself before starting a life with someone else.

I texted him and told him not to come home tonight. I told him that I will see him tomorrow when I get home from the zoo. He then tried to call me over 10 times and I ignored each call.
Part of me just wants to break up and apply for the same job he applied for and not attend school at all. Just depend and rely on myself. Because clearly I have something wrong with me and I can't control my emotions when something like this happens. Which I can only imagine will happen a lot more in my future with him.

I feel like his work friends are far more important than me and our relationship. I feel like if he gets this better paying job from 9-5 that he will miss his friends more than me and schedule more time with them since he won't be working with them.
I feel like he might as well have them in his life and not me.

I'm clearly not stable enough for a long term relationship.

I don't even want to see him right now. Part of me wants him to come home tonight; even though I told him not to. But I feel like I know he won't. He will go home with one of his friends. And then tomorrow I will be even more mad. I can only see this spiraling out of control because I can't stop how I feel.

It's not even that big of a deal, right?? Yet here I am. He deserves much better than this. I shouldn't even be with him at all.