Just woke up when I received a call about cancelling my psych appt on Fri because I need to take Lailah to school at that time. Now... getting hit with a lot of thoughts.
I have about 13-15 weeks before baby gets here and s/he could actually come sooner! It's unbelievable. Scott is now only sending me $300 monthly so that just about covers my cell phone and my car insurance. My mom told me she would help me but now since Brittany (sisters) friend is still living with her and she's going to let me move in, she's putting walls up and making rooms in the basement or whatever - to create our own spaces. I understand it will cost her a good chunk of money but I feel hopeless in the meantime. She told me she would pay me to help her with her daycare and now she's not. I am petrified that my bank account is going to sink into the negatives and then I won't be able to pay either my car insurance or cell bill and I will have my cell turned off and my car insurance lapse. And if my car insurance lapses it will cost more than the $200 to pay next time I get it again and in the meantime I can't drive my car. I need a job but where is going to hire me at 6 months pregnant? I'm probably a liability.
Justin doesn't make enough to support us and MY bills either. I feel guilty asking him for so much help.
I have been feeling pretty down lately, some sort of depression kicking in early - but then again - my life situation has been falling apart and nothing is as it was. Before, I had a job and I had extra money, I was also getting more from Scott. Now I feel like I'm failing. I'm failing myself, Justin, Lailah, and this new baby.
What else can I do?
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