I will not stand down.

Some days I want to shut it off, forget it all, and go into that denial.
The adoption denial.
I feel this urge to pretend everything is okay, believe that he's better off - like everyone says he is.
Forget about my own pain. I'm told it's selfish to hurt, it's selfish to mourn him. That I should be an adult and get over it.
Sometimes I want to believe that and shut the switch off inside of me that cares so much and hurts so much.
But then I realize that that's what society wants me to do.
My whole life I've battled what others want me to do.
I'm not stopping now.
I don't care if other people call me negative, tell me to shut up, tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.
I don't care if they call me names and spit on me because of my emotions towards adoption.
I don't care if they tell me that I'm wrong because I know that I'm not.
I won't sit down and shut up.
I will keep speaking the truth and I will keep planting mind seeds.
They may not listen to me now and it may seem to fall on deaf ears but I know in their heart they are listening and that they can feel my pain.
I know that right now; because of their ego - they will argue and they will bite back with harsh words.
But in a few years I could have been the reason they change their mind.
And so when people get angry and spat at me, I don't care - because I will NOT let them win.
I will smile at them and stand my ground.
Their anger is my victory and I will not give that victory to them in return.
I will reach as many pliable- and not so pliable- minds as I possibly can and show them the truth in adoption.