Grateful.

I feel like I've been feeling so ungrateful lately. I keep thinking about the things I don't have yet or the things I just simply want. Yet, I have everything I could ever wish for at this time. I mean, yeah - my situation could be better, but the essentials to my life - I have.

I have my absolutely amazing boyfriend who is there for me through thick and thin. Who has turned my world upside down. Who has taught me that I can be loved wholeheartedly. I don't think I ever knew what romantic love was before I met him. He is absolutely amazing with Lailah - I've never seen a better father figure than him. He is so sweet, loving, and compassionate. He listens to me and he feels with me. He always tries to understand me and where I'm coming from. He asks me frequently about how I'm feeling and the baby. He loves to feel this little one squirming inside of me - he even kisses my belly. He's my dream guy - I swear it. Every morning he gets up, snuggles me before leaving for work, and then he always gives me kisses before leaving - even if I'm sleeping like a ton of bricks. Then when he gets home from work he kisses me, gives Lai piggy back rides, he may make us food, he helps with laundry, we put Lai to bed (if she isn't already in bed) and he tucks her in, we then shower and cuddle up watching a show on Netflix. He's one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.

I also have the most amazing, bright, witty, funny, silly, compassionate, caring, understanding, and beautiful little girl that I could ever imagine having. She makes me laugh more than anyone I know. She puts life into another perspective for me. She is the sweetest thing. I live for her. I live to watch her learn and grow as a little human. So far, so good. I may not be a perfect mom but when I look at her I feel that I've done a pretty damn good job. She is the purest life I know. I love her more than I ever believed I could love anyone or anything. She told me today that she never wants me to die until she's old enough to die too. I know that this will eventually end but I hope more than anything that she will always be my little girl and that we will always have an amazing relationship.

Then I have this pregnancy which I truly feel blessed to have. Yeah, the baby may not be out yet - he or she is still happily cooking within. But that's not a bad thing and I've been treating it like it is. This baby will be perfect and my heart will expand so much more than I ever thought imaginable. I have no idea what it will be like raising two little ones but I know that I'll make the best that I can out of it. I am just becoming impatient and I so want to meet my little one! But each day will bring me closer and I need to remember that. The baby can't stay in forever.