Saturday, January 8, 2011

Why do I let this happen?

I just got back from Mark's an hour or so ago. I left when he fell asleep. Why?
Because I can't do it anymore. I hold zero trust for anyone anymore.

Strike 1
He didn't want a "relationship" with a girl with two kids.
Then he just didn't want a relationship at all but wanted to continue seeing me.
He didn't want the responsibility of having to act like a boyfriend but he expected me to act like a girlfriend.
No way.
Drive to his house, always go see him, drive to go get him, etc. No, I won't anymore.

Strike 2
I found a piece of long curly black hair in his bed. Clearly, not mine or his.
A. He had a girl over - but A doesn't seem likely since his mom commented on me being over, so
B. The hair got on him and into his bed.
Carolyn and Megan both have black hair.

Strike 3
He was texting Carolyn about bringing her to his parent's streak house for dinner.

That's all I have to say.

I'd ask, why does this always happen to me? But I know the answer.
Because I let it.

Then ask, Why do I let it? And I know that too.
Because I want love. From one person, I want love. I want someone who will never judge me or hurt me. Someone who will have faith in me, fight for me, and never leave me.
That's why.

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