Loneliness sucks

It's 3:40 and I'm feeling quite sad. I'm feeling lonely... so alone. I hate feeling so alone. I really wanted Tom to come here... not to help us pay bills, not to depend on him, but so that I would have a friend to hang out with, laugh with, and do things with. I hate feeling like I don't have a friend to turn to. I have my husband but he works a lot and is asleep during the day and he needs that.
Loneliness is a really shitty emotion. I wonder why children don't feel loneliness - they're ok with playing alone often times. I don't remember feeling lonely as a child. I wonder when loneliness comes into play. When did I start to feel lonely? I believe it was when I was a teenager. I didn't have many true friends - when I found Scott I didn't feel so alone anymore. I guess that's why I fell so hard for him. I don't think I could ever love in the way that I loved him ever again. I still hold harsh feelings toward him for hurting me the way he had. I understand that he was young but I am a human being, I always have been. I have always had emotions and he never stopped to think about how I would feel. Then again, not many people have.
Justin cares about me and how I feel. It seems he's the only person that truly does. Possibly the only person that does. I feel like I don't get enough time with him. I miss him a lot. I wish I had time to actually spend with him and enjoy him. It's so rough because I know he's working hard to care and support our family. He's so incredible. He does his best all the time for us. Idk what I would do without him. Idk where I would be without him. He's helped me get my life together and get on our feet. I love him so much.