Trust has been broken.

I feel crushed... and humiliated in a sense.
I just got texts from Tom : Well what im telling you is that i do want to back out because i believe atm thats whatd be best for ME because i was informed of an easy job that pays prtty well that i could focus on healing with, but then i worry about u cause i kno how hard it is to have to deal w work when ones health aint 100% and youve got your kids too.
So I'm torn because I want to elp u and i want to see u but i want to ocus on making myself ebtter too and im scared of not being able to do that up there. Unless i had a car and could just be a driver for like uber or amazon or something.
But then i also worry cause i dont want u to feel like this means i dont love you. it's just im worried about my health too and i always put everyone else first and im scared things will only get worse unless i start addressing things like now.

I think its bullshit. I think its complete and utter bullshit because I've been best friends with him for 6 years and yeah, in the first year or so he put me first but after that he's always put himself first and I was always very understanding. This is not the first time that he's blown me off and bailed on me when I've needed him. He's acting so concerned for his health yet before this moment he's never mentioned being so concerned about his health. He's talked about wanting to heal his body and such but not about his body being so damaged it's critical. Plus he's always been working at extremely high stress jobs there in PA.
I don't think I can ever trust him ever again. I know he was just trying to be honest and upfront with me. But I had already quit my job and everything before he spilled this on me. And this isn't the first time he's done this to me. It's been multiple times now. I feel like my trust in him is completely destroyed.

I feel betrayed and hurt.. and like a fool.
I don't even know what else to say... I feel silly for even trusting him again to begin with.

Now I have to either find another job or we have to figure something out... I'm gonna talk to Justin about him trying to get in with the Department of Labor and Training... that's probably the next best step for us. The pay starts out better than where he's at now... I may have to get a part time job too but part time is better than full time. We are going to have to cut more things out... idk, we will figure it out, we always do, I guess.