I'm realizing that I'm still struggling with depression.. it's just that the suicidal thoughts just aren't there anymore so my mood is a bit easier to handle. But most of the time, I don't want to do anything. I find it difficult to get up and function. I'm going to talk to both my therapist and psychiatrist about it.
Today I didn't want to do anything so we sat at home. Although, we truly can't afford to use the gas in the car or to spend any money. So, there is that.
Idk... I am feeling quite sad today... I'm not sure why...
I'm sure it's partially related to Mother's day being tomorrow..
Mother's day is usually difficult for me because 1. I don't have all my children with me.
And 2. My mom has never been an actual mom. Not one that cares, or is there for you in any mental, emotional, or physical way.
I'm not really sure what to write.. I'm just feeling down..
I miss my best friend, Tom.. we work like complete opposite shifts... We don't talk too much lately at all. That's been hard on me as well.
Work is killing me.. I've started working 9:30-5:30 which SUCKS. I almost never see my kids very much. I come home, eat dinner, and bed.. It's terrible. We need another car but we can't even begin to fathom how we could get another one. We are dirt poor.
Justin and I have been contemplating trying to get into the apprenticeship program through the Dept. of Labor and Training. I was thinking Painting and he's been thinking Carpentry. So I think sometime this week coming up we will call them to find out more.
Not much else....
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