Love for your child

I am beyond outraged. I am hurting, I am sad, and I am angry.
When I first got pregnant with my daughter at 17 I was on the rocks with her chronically lying father. My entire pregnancy he cheated on me, lied to me, and left me to be with this girl named Sandra. He was never really around. When I was somewhere around 25 weeks pregnant or so.. I started bleeding out. I rushed to the ER to find out that due to stress I lost a lot of her amniotic fluid and that they had to keep a very close eye on her until delivery.
So every week I went to 2 doctors appts, one Non-stress test (NST), and a growth U/s. At about 34 weeks they measured her and found out that she had stopped growing. For the next week they decided kept an eye on it. At my 35th week testing they also found that she was not growing. So then they scheduled me for an emergency inducement at 36 weeks.
I went into the hospital and I was in labor for 18 hours. I didn't take the epidural until after 15 hours. An hour later I was ready to push and I was fully dilated. I pushed for 2 hours to get her out. Scott was there but he was dating that girl Sandra so he would barely even look at me, even though I just delivered his child.
After that he joined the military and he left. I tried so many times to make it work with him. He proposed to me twice. The first time he proposed and I said yes... when he came home on vacation I found other girls texting his phone calling him baby, saying they missed him and couldn't wait for him to come 'home'. Later on I eventually found a very very detailed convo between him and this other chick... explaining what happened between them sexually while he was based in FL. I messaged her and she said she knew who I was and she didn't care. Some people huh?
I threw off the wedding. He swore again that he could make things right (like he always did) and I always believed him. He reproposed and I accepted. We got married on Jan 1st. I don't even remember the year. Anyways... he left and went back down to where he was based in NC. I moved down there twice. The first time we moved on base into a house living with one of his friends and the friends family. The wife and I got along at first but I quickly came to realize that they both were very abusive. They would scream, shout, punch each other, hit each other, throw things at each other, choke each other, etc. I would always lock myself up in the room with Lailah trying to help her ignore it. This couple also had a 3 month old baby. At night I would get up and feed their baby because they would leave her crying for up to 6 hours or longer. Soon after realizing how abusive they were and telling Scott about it and being brushed off.. the wife started blaming me for sleeping with her husband - which I didn't do. I demanded to Scott that I go home.
So the next day at something like 8am he dropped Lailah and I off at the airport and only paid for our tickets home, then he left. I was told by the flight people that our flight wasn't until 11pm that night. I had no money for food or anything. I spoke to them and they told me there was nothing they could do. I tried to call Scott and contact him but nothing. I eventually called his work and he told me he couldn't leave and there was nothing he could do. So eventually very nice strangers saw me with my crying baby and gave me money for food to feed her and myself.
Months later down the line Scott swore to me that he got us our own home on base and that we could be a family. So I packed myself and Lai up and we went down there. Only to realize he was lying and we were stuck in a hotel. For weeks I was trapped in this tiny hotel room with a baby and no way to get food or go anywhere. We were eating fast food because there was nowhere to store food there. I kept on him telling him we couldn't stay there. Then one day he left to go to work and he told me that I had only 1-2 days to get out, because that was all he paid for. I called my father in tears and my dad rented a car and drove 17 hours down to come and pick us up.
Finally I gained up the courage to demand a divorce. Which still hasn't happened - and I realize that that is because if we did, he knows I would get full custody and he wouldn't get any custody. So I went on living my life and caring for Lailah as a single parent. He only paid child support because it's military mandated and it went through his commanding officer.

Well last Monday he came home.. and I've been letting him see her and be around her. Which I have done every time he's come home. I've sent him updates and pictures (to which most he didn't even reply to, he just ignored). We would call him whenever she wanted to (which also was often ignored). And I respected his wishes for his parents to see her on weekends. I've never taken that from them.

(Backstory for the rest)
I don't talk to my mother and I haven't since back around easter and before that since back in october, before my bday in November. She has always been mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive to me. Back around easter she told me she hoped I would kill myself and die, and that's not the first time she's said that. Months back.. Before the new year I think. I told her that I felt disrespected by her and my brother and that there was going to be boundaries where she would get to see lailah at the park or zoo or something like that. I told her that it would only be for a few hours with me there. I said if I didn't like something then we would leave. I tried to be the bigger person and the adult in the situation. She FLIPPED out. She got my aunt and brother to verbally attack me based of God knows what she told them. So I was like, okay deals off then,
nevermind. We didn't talk again until Easter where she sent Lailah a huge basket full of things and had my dad give it to her. I spent a lot of money on Lailah and I was the 'Easter Bunny' so when Lailah got my moms basket she threw mine on the floor because it was 'just from the Easter Bunny' and the other one was from someone she knew. Then she told me, "Mommy, why didn't YOU get me anything?" When I actually bought her hundreds of dollars worth of things for her basket. So I texted my mom telling her I didn't appreciate it and she came at me telling me to go kill myself and she hoped I would die and also that Lailah would learn to hate me.

So tonight Lailah went over to her grandparents with her father. Later on I got a text from him asking me about my mom. I explained that we don't talk and that she's been abusive to me and that I don't accept that. He then said "Well, I'm taking her over there tomorrow." And I freaked ! I felt threatened and I felt as if he was barging in and taking over on me. Making decisions for me as Lailah's mother. I felt disrespected and disregarded and yes, I overreacted a bit. Court was brought up and custody was brought up. I was crying and panicking because Lai is my entire life, I've built my life around her. She's my everything. Eventually I told him I would call his commanding officer and he finally called me. At first there was shouting but then he agreed he would not take her to my mothers without speaking about all of this further. I apologized for over reacting and explained that I have done nothing but respected him and his family and I deserve the same in return. So tomorrow he's supposed to pick me up and we're going to go get clams at the beach with Lailah and talk further. I'm feeling more stable now but that sent me for quite the loop. How dare he.

I read to her every night, I have taught her her letters; numbers; how to count; how to memorize, I watch all her favorite shows with her all the time, I cook her favorite meals, I take her to her favorite places. I have raised this little girl to be everything she is. She's my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, compassionate, empathetic - little girl. She is literally my life. I wouldn't want to live without her in my life.