Hormones? I hope.

Today started off okay. I got up around 10, we got Dunkin Donuts for breakfast before going to my doctors apt to get my progesterone shot. Which I hate. The injection isn't what is bad - it's the medication, it stings like a bitch! Honestly, it's awful.
After that I brought Lailah to the zoo with Justin which was alright. I felt sad for Bahee - the gibbon, because recently his mate Gloria has passed away. Bahee was very very sad and he was staring into a mirror, looking at himself. You could tell he was lonely and filled with grief and pain. I wanted to jump in and soothe him for his loss. Last year they also sent his baby Mason away to another zoo. :( So, I can only imagine the pain he is feeling.
Recently I been finding myself very frustrated with Justin. I love him to death but he is driving me fucking nuts. He just doesn't seem to think about me and it makes me sad. For instance: The other day my dad set off the 3rd bug bomb. Justin called me later that night by using a store phone asking me if the house was safe to enter yet. I responded that it was and asked him if he could open all the windows to let it air out since the chemicals are unsafe for the baby. He completely ignored me after saying it was safe apparently because he didn't open even ONE window.Then a couple days later he brought home an ipod touch which he said his friend was "selling" to him. For $200 ! We are broke with a baby on the way ! We don't even have a crib/bassinet or diapers or even clothes for that matter ! We only have about 15 weeks left and he's spending money on gadgets! Are you kidding me ! Then today without even ASKING me, he went and started downloading a bunch of songs/movies on my laptop for his ipod which he told me he was going to return to his friend... the ipod he's had for a whole... 3days? I am frustrated and angry and I feel like shouting, fuck it ! I do not do well under pressure, especially if I feel that my feelings are NOT being thought about or taken into consideration!
Now he's being pissy and grumpy and YES I can tell ! It's making me even more angry and I feel like I can about boil over at any point and lose my marbles. Yes, possibly all of them !

I just remembered that Scott is leaving the military this month and I am fucked. Like seriously fucked. I will no longer be getting child support and I don't have a job at the moment. I can not get by. I need a job like, asap. If I don't have a job then I can't support this baby and I am fucked. I won't be able to buy anything for baby, nevermind afford my car insurance, cell phone, and every other bill I have. I can't even do this. I hae no way to get through. I have to get a job like, yesterday.