Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Lovely waiting room chat, no?

Today I went to the triage to receive my progesterone injection to prevent preterm labor. While in the waiting room a woman sat down next to me and started asking me questions about my pregnancy and my other children. I ended up telling her that I had placed my son at birth with a family (Which I rarely do but I can't handle people thinking I raise him when I don't). She then proceeded to passively attack me. She was saying, "How can you keep some kids but get rid of him." "He's going to grow up and hate you." "Don't you get depressed and want to commit suicide?" "What drove you to contact the agency? You should have never called." "You should have gone to a homeless shelter - you don't know that they exist everywhere?!" "This is going to mess your head up over the years and you'll feel a lot of guilt." "I had a friend who had a child she gave up, she eventually committed suicide." "A 'real mother' would do anything she needs to to keep her kids with her." "Don't you hate yourself? I would hate myself if I were you." "I hope you have a boy so that you can experience what you've been missing out on raising your son." "I hope you have a boy so that your son you got rid of doesn't feel like you didn't want him just because he was the boy." "You kept your firstborn at 18, you should have been able to keep him as well but you didn't try." "You could have told your doctor and your doctor would have helped you." "God is going to judge you." Why thank you, thank you for helping me feel pathetic. Thank you for even trying to understand a little bit that it was never a walk in the park and that it's the hardest thing I've ever had to live through. Thanks for the reminder of all my fears. Thanks for being my entire subconscious over the past 2 years rolled into a single half hour.

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