Perfect happy dream slowly falling apart.

Last night I had a dream with Bennett in it. He was with me... he was in my moms daycare. We were sitting on a pool deck while the kids were in the pool. He appeared his age - 2, but he really wasn't, he was older. I was playing with him, playing patty cake, singing songs, teaching him things. It was wonderful and I felt like I had never lost him that this was the way things were supposed to be. About an hour before his aparents came to pick him up, the older side of him talked to me. He said, "Why are you so interested in me? Why do you show that I'm so much of an importance to you? Why do you give me all this attention? You're weird. You creep me out. I'm a baby and you're an adult. Only my parents look at me that way. Only my family loves me in such a way. You're practically a stranger." I wanted to shout from my heart, "Because I MADE you ! Because I created you inside of me and the bond that we share is one that can not be broken! Because I gave you life! I am your mother! And I miss you! You were supposed to be here with me!" I wanted to let him know and let it all pour out but I just sat staring at him, my heart sinking away. But I know the truth - 'we' don't share a bond and our bond WAS broken. 'I' share a bond with him, he shares a bond with his Afamily. I am not his 'mother', not anymore and I don't know if I ever will get the chance to be again. I made that choice no matter how much I wish I didn't, no matter the circumstances I was under, no matter what anyone else said to me, I did it. It was me.
I wasn't even afraid of his reaction, even reactions of "You are not my mother, I have a mother and a family, I don't need you!" - That wasn't even my fear. My fear was that his aparents would know I told him and they would close the adoption and I would NEVER see him again, through pictures or anything. That was my fear.
Later on in the dream I talked with my mom about how I couldn't tell him and that they wouldn't and that I was forced to creepily care about a child who has no idea why I care about him in such a close and mothering way. That I feel he would never understand how deeply I care about him or why and that I can't even tell him - for me, the bond hasn't broken.