Some annoyance, some excitement, some frustration - all rolled into a bunch.

Hm, haven't posted in a few days... what's new.
Well.. Lailah got head lice and I've still got to recheck her head tomorrow morning for the 3rd time. I also slept last night with my hair saturated in oil and vinegar... yuck. But it seems to have helped my hair be softer.. She apparently got it from my moms daycare.

Today we got to see baby ! Little Penguin was opening and closing his/her mouth the whole time with his/her hands up above his/her face !So cute. It was great ! <3 Little penguin was kicking around real well and looked healthy as could be. :D That makes me so happy and relieved ! Still team green ! No idea what baby is. :) Everyone has their own ideas. My moms husband's mother says boy. A few friends - Cassidy and Cecily say girl. Lailah says girl. Justin says boy.

Mouth open                                                    Mouth closed

LOL

My mom is going to teach me how to crochet ! Then I want to learn how to make things. I also want to learn how to sew eventually. :)
So far I've got the baby a carseat, a back/forth glider, some gender neutral outfits, some burp cloths, a couple knitted hats, and a highchair.
Next on my list is the co-sleeper, baby carrier - I'm thinking Maya wrap Ring Sling and an Infantino Mei Tai wrap, then start my collection of cloth diapers!


I went to play cards tonight and got 4th place - not bad. Got lucky a few times. While there there was this woman who I've known from there previously. I had her on facebook at one point... until she messaged me saying, "I gather you're keeping this one." About my pregnancy - you know, instead of a simple- "congratulations." I sort of went off on her. Then she had the audacity to tell me she knew how I felt since she has had an abortion. HA. Not even close to the same ! How dare she ! I ended up blocking her.
What am I? A goddamned baby factory for infertiles? Place once and now it's my fucking job?! How DARE I want to keep and parent MY OWN child, right?! And for the record - YES I wanted to keep Bennett. But adoption was a pushed topic during my pregnancy and everything I was told about it and led to believe about it was a LIE ! I just wanted what was BEST for my son , even if it meant not being what was best for ME. And that's still what this is about. I just want him to not feel angry at me or resentment because that would mean he feels pain. I want him to not feel empty or 'lost' or abandoned. Because that would mean he feels pain. And that's the last thing I want for him. I just want him to feel love, put very simply.
 I placed to PROTECT him and adoption is what I was told would safely do just that, they lied.